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Therapy Resources

Change

We live with and accept a lower quality of living and can become accepting and comfortable with our status quo and overlook the fact that we do live and function below our full potential for long periods. Excuses to Change are usual. An excuse is an enemy to change. Excuses are the nails that are used to build a house of failure. Changed thinking leads to changed feelings, leads to changed action, leads to changed life. If you can renew your mind, you can change your life. Knowledge alone is not power. Knowledge has value only in the hands of someone who has the ability to think well. We need to learn to think well. When we learn to think well, we can achieve dreams and reach our full potential. If your thinking is poor, then you have placed a lid (a ceiling) on your life and your ability to achieve and attain. Where your thinking is limited, so your potential is never allowed to attain higher heights. A change of thinking can help you move from survival or maintaining the status quo, to real progress. 95% of achieving is knowing what you want and a willingness to pay the price to get it. (Not just a willingness to pay the price – but actually then paying the price). You need to have belief. A belief is not just an idea, but also something that holds great power and the ability to change expectations. People are more willing to embrace change when: They hurt enough – such that they are at a point of willingness to change. Learn enough... read more

The impact of sex education on the sexuality and sexual expression on Children and young people

Children & Young People (CYP) viewing and being exposured to information which is too explicit for the age & maturity of the young person can be traumatic. Such early contact with sexual information which is too much too soon can have an emotional impact on their later sexual experience and development. That may contribute to sexual dysfunctions and problems in relationships. Sex education (Sex ed) is often the first such exposure to material which is explicit. That is fast changing with the increasing use of PC’s at an earlier age and the websites that are recommended and get a viewing – under the radar of parental monitoring. Sexually explicit material (and here I am referring to material that is too much too such – rather than very explicit on its own) can cause trauma. That trauma can be at work in a suckle and unconscious way, but in time set the CYP on a path towards increased vulnerability to sexual compulsive and addictive disorders. Even if sexual dysfunction does not manifest in later life, other relational issues may have an increased prevalence and potential. The visual imprint which is carving out the sexual template has a long exposure time in the brain, leaving an impression that may be activated adversely in the future. It also may have normalised thinking about what the image depicted. There is acknowledgment by the government that CYP are being pushed into grown-up territory well before their time. Sex education needs to be included in the debate about the sexually explicit nature of some of the sex ed resources deemed age appropriate for viewing by... read more

The Art of Loving

This is a summary of my Book. It is for singles, partners, marrieds and for those thinking of or preparing for marriage. It is an educational book and at the same time provides self-help tools to help you in your current or future relationship – from an experienced Relationship Therapist. What do you do and what happens when your whole world – as you know it – comes toppling down. All the foundations which society say are important such as career, professionalism, marriage, finance, children, house, health, Churchlife & social life as you know them and quality of life are shaken to their core. Chapter 1: First thing first Chapter 2: Masks and games people play Chapter 3: Pain hurts Chapter 4: Unconscious needs which influence the journey – some tools Chapter 5: Not ready yet for change – Changing your mind (1) Chapter 6: Ready now – Changing your mind (2) Chapter 7: Stages of change Chapter 8: Conflicts Chapter 9: LOVE: Rebuilding, Refreshing, Resurrecting, Rekindling, Refreshing Chapter 10: Love me in five ways (1) Chapter 11: Love me in five ways (2) Chapter 12: Love me in five ways (3) Chapter 13: Love me in five ways (4) Chapter 14: Love me in five ways (5) Chapter 15: When the Five loves disappear Chapter 16: Communication or Miscommunication? (1) Chapter 17: Communication or Miscommunication? (2) Chapter 18: Communication or Miscommunication? (3) Chapter 19: A Lifetime love affair. A tall order or... read more

Mindfulness

I have used mindfulness as a highly effective technique to help individuals in therapy and as part of a self-management programme. The brain is incredibly powerful and needs rest time to sort our thought processes and the multitude of messages that are going on second by second. Mindfulness enables individuals to take a step out of what can seemingly be chaotic non-stop chattering of the mind, so that they can fully participate in reality and be intentionally present in the moment. Over time mindfulness is an attitude of mind which we develop, where we learn to become more accepting of how our world and our part in it actually is. Mindfulness enables individuals to be more aware of and more accepting of their thoughts and feelings using techniques like meditation and breathing.   This equips them to intentionally focus on and accept what is on their mind or what they are doing in that moment. For example we can all too easily be drawn into a culture that drives us to work such long hours for what we think will be better quality of life in the long run, but I want to challenge you today to ask yourself would that be worth it or would your quality of life be better at a slower pace where you notice and remember more “in the moment” experiences. Mindfulness helps individuals to notice barriers, which get in the way of what they are doing, enabling them to take control reducing the potentially negative impact of those barriers e.g. other tasks or worries. It helps them to fully notice and engage with what... read more